I'm gonna let it shine!
So as I approach my 7th month sober, I feel I can finally open up and put into words the storm of feelings that have been inside me since August 15, 2010 (my sobriety date). I'm currently on Step 4 of the 12 steps and believe 100% that Alcoholics Anonymous has saved. my. life! That and Klove (a christian radio station), and of course, my boyfriend and family! And I gotta send a HUUUUUUUGE shout out to my dog Percy (@PercyPuppyPI), and the blog that started it all and continues to inspire me daily: http://www.cryingoutnow.com/ <------ Those women are amazing!
So now that that's out of the way, let's get down to the nitty gritty....
Since I can remember tasting alcohol for the very first time back after my step-father committed suicide, I LOVED it. Not just liked it, or preteded to like it, I LOVED IT. The yummy chocolatety taste of the Bailey's Irish Creme, the beer my mom shoved in my hand when I was 15 and we were at my deceased step-father's apartment going through his things, and the warm & fuzzy feeling I got from it. It was an escape from a world I was completly unprepared to deal with, one I had never felt I fit in. However, along with those first drinks, great kisses, and the even better make out sessions that came along with it, T R O U B L E always tagged along. From the very first time I got trashed till the last, it was always trouble - but alcohol alllllllways called to me - quitting was NEVER a thought in my mind! Not for 12 long years...
Thankfully I quit in what some people consider "early" alcoholism. At first I was ooooh so jealous of those who had "gotten" to drink for 25+ years, hell that meant I still had a good 15 years to go right??? It's taken me a while to accept the idea that I shouldn't be jealous of those people, I'm now grateful I stopped after 12 without killing myself (by accident) or anyone else during those 12 years of drinking and flirting with various "party favors".
I must run off to do some "work" now :-) spying on people has its perks! Time for some Red Bull!
See y'all later, don't let your light go out!
~Lauren
Inspirational Song of the Day: "Maybe" by Sick Puppies <------ Trust me on this!!!
Love you girl! And I'm so proud of you!!!
ReplyDeleteI am so proud you made that step and are sober! You referenced a great recovery website, I love reading it, too. Nice to meet you! :)
ReplyDeleteThat must have been hard to deal with at age 15. I LOVED the taste of alcohol too. I had my first drink at 12 - and now I am 39. So coming from someone who was drinking for over 25 yrs, I am jealous of YOU. :) I am only 53 days sober but all I can do is think about all the time I wasted. All the near death experiences I had! The people I hurt and what would have happened. It's driving me crazy! But it's never too late to change and I am so glad I made this choice. God bless you girl!
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