I'm gonna let it shine!
So as I approach my 7th month sober, I feel I can finally open up and put into words the storm of feelings that have been inside me since August 15, 2010 (my sobriety date). I'm currently on Step 4 of the 12 steps and believe 100% that Alcoholics Anonymous has saved. my. life! That and Klove (a christian radio station), and of course, my boyfriend and family! And I gotta send a HUUUUUUUGE shout out to my dog Percy (@PercyPuppyPI), and the blog that started it all and continues to inspire me daily:
http://www.cryingoutnow.com/ <------ Those women are amazing!
So now that that's out of the way, let's get down to the nitty gritty....
Since I can remember tasting alcohol for the very first time back after my step-father committed suicide, I LOVED it. Not just liked it, or preteded to like it, I
LOVED IT. The yummy chocolatety taste of the Bailey's Irish Creme, the beer my mom shoved in my hand when I was 15 and we were at my deceased step-father's apartment going through his things, and the warm & fuzzy feeling I got from it. It was an escape from a world I was completly unprepared to deal with, one I had never felt I fit in. However, along with those first drinks, great kisses, and the even better make out sessions that came along with it, T R O U B L E always tagged along. From the very first time I got trashed till the last, it was always trouble - but alcohol alllllllways called to me - quitting was NEVER a thought in my mind! Not for 12 long years...
Thankfully I quit in what some people consider "early" alcoholism. At first I was ooooh so jealous of those who had "gotten" to drink for 25+ years, hell that meant I still had a good 15 years to go right??? It's taken me a while to accept the idea that I shouldn't be jealous of those people, I'm now grateful I stopped after 12 without killing myself (by accident) or anyone else during those 12 years of drinking and flirting with various "party favors".
I must run off to do some "work" now :-) spying on people has its perks! Time for some Red Bull!
See y'all later, don't let your light go out!
~Lauren
Inspirational Song of the Day: "Maybe" by Sick Puppies <------ Trust me on this!!!